Le Suisse Spa, Km 33.9 on the road to Antigua (RN-10), Santa Lucía Milpas Altas. 90-minute sports massage, Monday 5 October 2026, Q380 charged to the room.
Honestly, I was nervous. I had put off a spa treatment like this for years. Man, was I wrong.
I booked it as a once-in-a-lifetime treat after weeks of driving and too many hours bent over a laptop: shoulders, neck and the small of the back, knotted for longer than I care to admit. I warned the therapist, Lourdes, that some of those knots were old and stubborn and asked her to start gently. She did — and then she found every one of them without being told where they were, working up the pressure only as the muscle let her. She speaks good English, she is warm and easy to be with, and she is plainly very good at what she does. The session finished with a cool aloe face mask I had not asked for and did not expect.
Spare a thought for Lourdes, though: at my size she had about twice the usual real estate to cover, and she did not miss an inch.
I walked out lighter than I have felt in years. The best word I have for it is the one I used at the time: a truly spiritual awakening.
The setting helps. Before the massage I had the second-floor Spa Oasis nearly to myself — on a weekday it is quiet and genuinely beautiful — with a heated pool, jacuzzi, and separate men's and women's steam rooms, each with a cold shower and a walkway out to a cold plunge pool. The treatment room is warm brick and wood with a window onto the trees.
Book through the front desk on WhatsApp and ask for Lourdes by name. Ask for the full treatment list too; it is not posted online, and there are weekday offers worth knowing about.
Score: 5 / 5. Therapist 5, treatment 5, setting 5, value 5.